The Owners Were Married This Afternoon

The Owners Were Married This Afternoon
- AK

It's fucking freezing out here. Hurry the fuck up
and get out here with my fucking Cheesy Gordita Crunch
damnit! I can only pace this sidewalk so many
times. Goddamn employees! He's been at that counter
for an hour waiting for our motherfucking food and no doubt
he'll be waiting another fucking hour. Fuck!

Whoa. Is that car running over there? That car is
fucking running. Stupid small-town idiots, just because
it has never happened here doesn't mean it won't.
Nice car too. Hot damn, a Honda Civic. Beats my piece
of shit anyway. And it's right fucking there, with
the damn keys in it. I didn't know Santa was comin'
in February now. It explains the lack of shit I got in
December. And this has my name all over it. Fuck
Taco Bell, fuck my buddy, it's fucking Christmas.

Leather seats too, hot shit. Power locks, windows, automatic transmission,
reverse, here we go. Holy shit! This bitch next to me
just starts howling. How the fuck didn't I see her?
But the door's open and she's jumping ship. Fucking
drive damnit, shifting, pedal to the floor, door slams.

Oh fuck! Ugh! This ain't no fucking pillow. The door was fucking slamming
and I watched it. Look forward you fucking idiot! I'm a motherfucking idiot hitting
the motherfucking Taco Bell sign. Shit, this car ain't going nowhere, the cops'll
be here in a minute, and I've got to get this meth off of me quick.
I'm so fucking out of shape right now, but I'm running. Damn
I don't wanna lose this crank, but damn I don't wanna get caught with it.
Huge fucking snowbanks all around, I bury it. I don't know
where I'm running to no more.